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Fifteen days down and fifteen days to go. I've broken 10,000 words. Only 40,000 more to go! Yaaaaaayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!
Alan Calder was in his office going over Hannah Michelle’s work from the day before. It was good solid work. The quality of Hannah’s work was never a problem. Hannah’s personality, however, that was a different story. It was a lucky thing for her that Doctor Hale was interested in results and that he wasn’t in the lab very often. Speak of the devil though.
“Alan, where are those test results? I told you to put Hannah on it, didn’t I? Don’t tell me she’s gone off on one of her rants about how our time could be better spent working on her ideas.”
“I won’t, because she hasn’t. She’s done some good work on writing up the test results and made some suggestions for improvement that should actually work.” Alan hand the results to Doctor Hale.
“Let me see that.” Doctor Hale sat down and started reading. Alan went to the coffee pot in the corner of the room and pour cups for both of them. He sat Doctor Hale’s cup on the desk near him and then took his seat behind the desk. He pulled up the schedule for the reviewers visit on his computer and started making notes as to what needed to be ready when and who should do it.
They worked steadily for an hour. During this time, Hannah had come in and was seeing how the notes she had made from her research in the library would work in this particular project. For once, she did not have her ever present CD player on. It was out, but every time she put the head set on, it didn’t help her concentrate. The track didn’t matter. All she thought of was him. She didn’t like it. She had work to do and he was keeping her from it. Just taking the notes and diving in did what the music and the notes couldn’t do together. For that she was thankful.
He didn’t go away entirely though. When she’d get to a point that didn’t require her complete concentration, a section where the math or the logic was not as involved, there he was. Talking to her, trying to make her smile. The most infuriating part was that she wanted to smile, wanted to talk. Wanted to not work. Wanted to play. With him. Wanted things she had given up wanting. Things she had tried to give up wanting.
Realizing she couldn’t work this way, she started gathering up her things. Maybe if she thought about him all the way home, when she got there she would be able to concentrate on what was really important to her. A fair compromise, she thought.
She hadn’t noticed the light on in Alan’s office when she came in. She did on her way out though. She headed over to the office to let him know that she had done some additional research and was sure she’d have a way to incorporate it by the end of the weekend with excellent results. She wasn’t prepared for the sound of voices coming from his office.
“She really can see things that other people can’t. It would have taken me weeks if not months to get to some of these conclusions. Remarkable.” That was Doctor Hale. How long had he been here?
“Yeah. She’s an amazing scientist.” Alan. Alan was saying something good about her work. He never complimented her work. What the hell was going on in the universe today? “Too bad she had the personality of alley cat.” That was more like it. “If she could work with the rest of the team better, we’d be months ahead of where we are now. Of course, we’re still months ahead of any other team working with this concept, but when you can see where we are and where we could be, and know that it’s all because of her, it’s just frustrating.”
“I understand, Alan. It would be nice if that brillian brain came with a pleasant personality as well, but God doesn’t often work that way.”
“Hilary flat out refuses to work with her any more. Donnie and Lester are ready to kill her if she talks down to them one more time. The only one who isn’t in open revolt is Ivan and I think that’s mostly because his English isn’t that great. It’s weird. She’ll take the time to explain things to him and answer questions, but everyone else she expects to keep up with her and doesn’t have the patience when they don’t. She’s actually almost nice to him.”
Ivan was the only one who was nice to her. The others thought they were better than she was. Just because she didn’t bother being nice to people who werent’ nice to her, they thought they were better. She couldn’t help it if she was smarter than they were; couldn’t help it if things made sense to her that they had to work harder at. She knew they hated that about her. Hated her because she didn’t see the point in the niceities of “polite society.” Hated her because they would never be able to do what she could do. Pitied her because she couldn’t do what they could.
“That will have to change soon. The team is getting too fractured. Hannah has her place and it works well for her, but she can’t continue working strictly on her own. It isn’t good for the project. Maybe if we had more researchers. Maybe if we had a larger facility in addition to the researchers, it would be okay. But we’re a small team. We need to be more cohesive.”
“What do you suggest? I don’t think we can improve her people skills at this point and I don’t want to let her go.”
“Neither do I, but we may not have a choice.”
“She’s doing a little better. She hasn’t gotten in any arguments in a few weeks. Maybe if we keep having her look for improvements or have her work on the initial end of things, to give the others more to work with.”
“They’ll end up resenting it. She’s almost through with all the test results we have so far. I don’t know what else we can do with her.”
“You know her father, don’t you.”
“We’ve met. I don’t see where that has anything to do with her work. They aren’t close.”
“There’s a surprise. Maybe he can think of something that we haven’t. Know who could get through to her.”
“I’ve heard she’s close to her twin brother. But I still don’t think it will make a difference. We’re near the end of the project any way. Could we wait until then? Then it wouldn’t seem so wrong.”
“I think so. None of them realize how close we are to finishing this phase. Maybe we can think of something between phases to keep her on. I’d hate to think of where we’d be if she weren’t working on this.”
“Me too.”
Hannah hurried to the exit. She wasn’t sure how she managed it. She couldn’t feel anything. Arms, legs, stomach, all gone. They were letting her go. It didn’t matter how good her work was. It didn’t matter that they’d be months behind without her. They were letting her go. Those sons of bitches. Didn’t they know how much they needed her? Didn’t they understand that without her none of this would work? How could they just make this decision? Hannah refused to think about how much it hurt. Hurting didn’t solve anything. Anger did. It may not make things better, but it did solve things. Sometimes that was the only important thing.
“Killing me softly with his song, singing my life with his words, killing me softly with his song, killing me softly with his song.” Molly sang to herself while getting dinner ready. Emma was laughing at the latest Sponge Bob antic on video. Molly’s favorite thing about the house was the way the kitchen looked out into the family room. The warmth of having her domain all within easy view just could not be beat. She looked at the clock and decided to take a break from cooking. Every thing was coming together just right and she didn’t need to start the vegetables until Henry got home.
She went in and sat down in Henry’s chair. She smiled. It wasn’t the most comfortable chair in the room, although it was very close. It was the fact that it was Henry’s. That and his reaction whenever he found her sitting in it. Equal parts tickled and territorial. He understood why she did it, but it was still his chair, dammit.
“Mommy.” Emma looked up at her from the floor.
“Yes, honey.”
“Is Aunt Hannah coming to visit this weekend?”
“No, baby, she’s not.”
“Why not?”
“Your Aunt Hannah is very busy with work. I’m sure she’ll come visit another time.”
“She never has.”
“I know, baby. But that doesn’t mean she never will. She’s just not a people person.”
“I’m not a people. I’m Emma.”
Molly smiled. “Yes, you are. And the most wonderful Emma at that. Now, why don’t you climb up here with your old mom and we’ll watch Sponge Bob and Patrick getting into trouble together.”
Emma scrambled up and got comfortable. Molly started the video over, not that she paid any attention to it, although Emma seemed to be enjoying it to no end. What would she do if the baby turned out to be like Hannah? A strange thought, she knew, but still. Henry had his moments. There seemed to be times when he was off in his own little world. No where near the extent that Hannah did it, but at those times she didn’t see the man she married. The man she loved. Molly had an older brother and sister and a younger sister and brother. The classic middle child. She just didn’t know what to do with too much time to herself. There was alway something that needed to be tended to and someone to tend to it with.
She really tried to like Hannah if only for Henry’s sake, but Hannah did
not make it easy. Molly was sure Hannah was jealous of her for taking Henry away. Not in any icky way, but just in having to share him with some one else. Hannah did not share anything well. She did seem very fond of Emma though, which at least spoke well of her sense. It was just beyond Molly’s ability to understand the choices Hannah made. How could she make work the most important thing in her life? How could she just turn her back on her family, her father? Didn’t she know that family is the only thing that’s important?
Molly had worked before Emma was born and she would return once Emma and the baby were in school, but replacing her babies with work was inconceiveable. Using work as an escape was incomprehensible, yet that was what Hannah did. Molly smiled and shook her head. For someone she was not all that fond of, she sure thought about her a lot.
Emma was starting to get wiggly. “Okay, sunshine. Time for Mom to check on dinner again. Wanna come help?”
Emma thought about the offer very hard. “No. I’m gonna stay here till Daddy gets home. He’s funny when some one sits in his chair.”
“That he is. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me for anything, okay.”
“Mommy, the kitchen is right there. I can still see you.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Molly got up. Puttering around the kitchen, she thought about the strange little family she had married into. A father and fraternal twins. The mother died in child birth. Apparently, no aunts or uncles or grandparents to speak of. Sometimes Molly wondered if what Henry loved about her most was her family. Along with her brothers and sisters, there were more cousins than she cared to count. Grandparents, great aunts and uncles in over abundance. They spent most holidays with them. Phillip seemed to have a bit of trouble relating to his children as well. He hadn’t known what to make of Emma when she was first born. He loved her. Any fool could see that, but how to deal with her? That was another story. He was the first person she’d call when she needed help finding a baby sitter or a nanny. He was on a first name basis with the presidents of five of the top child care providers in the state.
Henry had fond memories of his nannies. Molly was sure there would have only been one, maybe two, if it hadn’t been for Hannah. Henry got along with everyone. Henry was resilient. Henry was strong. Henry was dead if he didn’t get here in the next fifteen minutes.
Of course, things usually tend to happen all at once. Just as she heard Henry’s car pull into the drive way, the phone rang.
“Honey, start getting ready for dinner. Daddy’s home.”
“Daddy!” Emma ran out of the room.
“Hello.” Molly sent a silent thank you to whomever had invented the cordless phone. She moved to the counter and started the vegetables as she answered.
“Molly. Good to hear your voice. Is Henry there?” Phillip’s melodious baritone drifted over the phone line. Molly was conviced the reason he won so many cases was because the women jurors just couldn’t say no to that voice. It was a shame he had never remarried.
“He just pulled up in the drive. We’re about to sit down for dinner. Could he call you back right after?”
“Certainly. Tell him to call the office number. Be sure to give my love to Emma and the new one.”
“Will do, Phillip. Talk to you later.” Molly set the phone down as Emma pulled her daddy into the room.
“Was that Dad on the phone?” Henry knew better than to bring a briefcase in with him with Emma in the lead. He sat down at the dining table and Emma crawled into his lap to tell him all about her day. He started tickling her in order to hear Molly.
“Yes. He wants you to call him after dinner. Baby, go wash your hands. We’re going to eat soon.”
“Okay.” Emma hugged her daddy real hard around the neck before sliding off his lap and going to her bathroom.
“Did he say what he wanted?”
“Just that you should call him at the office number. Oh, and love to Emma and the new one.”
Henry smiled at the exasperation in his wife’s voice. It tickled him to no end that she could not figure out how to react to his father. He remembered the fights Dad and Hannah got into when they were younger. It seems the women in his life are always expecting more from his father than his father is able to give.
“Okay then. I’ll go wash up myself. Smells good.”
Molly turned and watched her husband’s retreating form. Sometimes she wondered about him. About how different he really was from his father and sister. He did everything right. Was he just giving her what he thought she wanted or did he really mean it? He really didn’t do spontaneous well.
“I’ll put Emma to bed. Why don’t you go ahead and call your father?” Molly took Emma by the hand and led her down the hall.
Henry took the phone out of the charger and went to his chair to call. Might as well be comfortable especially since he didn’t know what was coming. The only thing he was sure of was that Dad wasn’t cancelling this weekend. It was the second constant where his father was concerned. The first being how hard he worked. Henry dialed the office number from memory. He knew it better than his dad’s home number. He often wondered why Dad had a home phone.
“Pearce.”
“Hi, Dad. It’s Henry. Molly said you’d called.”
“Yes, well. Have you talked to your sister lately?”
“No, not really. I got a letter from her yesterday and was going to answer her tonight, but it’s been a month, maybe two, since we’ve gone up to see her. Why?"
“I got a call from Doctor Hale, her supervisor at the university. He’s concerned about her. Seems to think she’s a little more odd than usual. The thing is they are going to have to let her go soon. This phase of the project is wrapping up quicker than expected, but Hannah’s not going to be asked back for the next phase. She’s just too disruptive. The other members of the team don’t like working with her and they can’t let her work by herself. She’ll either generate too much work for the other team members or she’ll fly through the results of their work and be at loose ends while they’re stillworking. Neither option is good for her.”
“No, it’s not. Or for anyone around her. She does not do bored well. Is there anything she can do? For all her complaining, I think she really loves what she’s doing.”
“Oh, I’m sure of that, but Doctor Hale doesn’t think so and his opinion is the one that matters. Could you talk to her? I’d go up, but....”
“I know. Sure. I’ll rearrange some of my appointments for tomorrow or the next day and head up there. It’ll be good to see her. Does she know about the dismissal?”
“No. Doctor Hale didn’t think it would be a good idea to get her worked up. You’ll have to be careful what you say to her, but maybe just focus on her future. You said she was complaining.”
“Dad, if she’s breathing, she’s complaining. That doesn’t mean anything. Maybe we can steer her toward writing. She’d only have to work with an editor eventually. My friend Will is working on a book, maybe she could work with him.”
“I thought you said he was your friend.”
“He is, Dad. He’s pretty easy going and he’s home bound. If we could just convince her to join the twenty-first century, she wouldn’t even have to go over there.”
“And the chances of that happening?”
“About the same as finding dancing girls on Venus. It’s a thought. I’ll talk to Molly and see if she has any ideas.”
“Yes, because they’re such good friends.”
“Dad. I know they don’t get along, but Molly’s pretty good about working around her.”
“Who isn’t? Look, son, when you talk to her, could you...?”
“She knows, but I’ll remind her. You know too, right?”
“Yeah. I do. I’d better let you go. Molly’ll kill me for keeping you on the phone too long. Give her my love, would you.”
“Will do. We look forward to seeing you this weekend. Emma’s going to introduce you to Sponge Bob and Patrick.”
“Are they friends of hers?”
“In a manner of speaking. Get here early, okay?”
“Okay. See you this weekend.”
“Bye.”
Henry turned on the tv to CNN and didn’t really pay attention while he was thinking of how he was going to talk to Hannah. What he was going to say to her that wouldn’t tip her off that she was going to lose her job and make her think whatever it was was her idea. For once, he counted Hannah’s lack of observational skill in his favor. She wouldn’t have noticed that this phase of the project was wrapping up or that she wasn’t being considered part of the team for the next phase. He had a fresh start, so to speak. If he could just figure out what it was, he stood a chance of convincing her it was her idea, not his. If it was her idea, it was good.
There weren’t many ideas that were feasible. The more obvious ones were quickly discarded simply because they were so obvious. He kept coming back to the idea that Hannah might be able to help Will with his book somehow. She liked research, he liked research. Granted it was researching different things, but hey, beggars really can’t be choosers, can they.
Molly came back into the family room during the weather report. Henry was doing that thing where he talked to himself under his breath as he was making plans. He never caught on that he was doing it either. Every time Molly pointed it out him, he argued with her. He accepted that he snored more easily than this. Although he did react exactly the same way when she tried to tell him he talked in his sleep.
“What did Phillip want?”
“Hannah’s project at the university is coming to an end. This phase of it anyway, and it’s unlikely that they are going to ask her back for the next phase. Dad wanted to know if I’d go up and talk to her, see if maybe I can give her something to focus on when she finds out so it won’t be too bad for her.”
“When are you going?”
“Tomorrow or the day after. It depends on when I can get my schedule cleared.”
“Have you come up with anything yet?” Molly sat on the corner of the sofa that was closest to Henry’s chair.
“The only thing I keep coming back to is having her help Will with his book.”
“I thought Will was your friend.”
“Why does everyone say that? Would you believe he asked me about Hannah today because his brother is working at the university now?”
“What did you say?”
“I just pointed out that the last guy who asked her out was just now getting off crutches. She’d be able to work on her on. And Will does better when he has someone to collaborate with. You know, bounce ideas off and Hannah does like that.”
“What could he afford to pay her?”
“Good question. I was just thinking of something to keep her busy. There are the trust funds Mom left each of us. She could live off that. And I don’t think they’re letting her go from the university entirely, just Doctor Hale’s project. She’s not too bad one on one.”
“Coming from the only one she likes.”
“That’s not true. She likes Emma.”
“Emma’s a little young. I’m sure she’ll change her mind as she gets older.”
“No. I know you don’t get her, but once she decides someone is okay, she doesn’t change her mind.”
“So I’m not okay.”
“Molly, that’s not it and you know it. She knows I love you and that matters to her. She just doesn’t expect much from other people and you haven’t exactly gone out of your way to make her like you.”
“So it’s my fault she’s a bitch.”
“Don’t call her that and that’s not what I said. You don’t like her.
she doesn’t like you. Neither of you has made any effort to change that. If I’m assigning blame, you both have an equal share.”
“Like King Soloman and the baby?”
“I’m not suggesting anyone chop me in half so you two can be happy. Although I’d hope that wouldn’t make anyone happy.”
“I’m not so sure right now.” Molly smiled with a twinkle in her eye. He went so far out of his way to see all side of an issue. She had to concede his point. They hadn’t liked each other from the first and they hadn’t made any effort to change it. That didn’t mean she had to like the facts as they were though. “Okay. Fine. You’re right. What do you want me to do?”
“About not liking Hannah or about keeping her busy?”
“About keeping her busy. Let’s not rush things here. I think I can safely say neither of us is ready for a full scale peace negotiations just yet. But I will try being a little nicer the next time we see her, okay.”
“Okay. So, any ideas?”
“None that don’t involve a really large box and parcel post.”
“Does she at least have air holes in this really large box?”
“Of course and water and power bars. I’m thinking Madagascar as a destination.”
“Why Madagascar?”
“Who goes there?”
Henry laughed and Molly joined in. Molly continued to through out silly ideas for the sole purpose of making Henry laugh until they were both yawning almost constantly. They shuffled off to bed and even if Henry didn’t have a clue about what to do with Hannah, at least he felt better about the situation in general.
Hannah couldn’t fall asleep. Truth be told, she hadn’t tried. She didn’t work. She didn’t read. She was having trouble even thinking. There was one thought, one idea that wouldn’t leave her be. I’m off the project. I’m off the project. I’m off the project. I’m off the project.
There was an emptiness that engulfed her. She’d always known she had no people or social skills to speak of, but it never occurred to her that it would really make a difference. She did good work. She questioned and challenged and the final product was always better for it. Always. Why was this time different? What made it different? Was there something she could have done differently? Maybe she could have made more of an effort, but it never did her any good before. The nannies always left and always because of her. Hell, even Mommy left because of her. Logically she knew that wasn’t the case, but viscerally it was true. Only Henry stayed. Daddy couldn’t even be around her.
She had been looking in Daddy’s room one afternoon when they were little and Henry had had a cold. Hannah had been lucky that time. She was usually the one who got sick. She hated being sick, but she liked taking care of Henry. He was sleeping now.
Daddy was at work of course and the new nanny was in the kitchen on the phone. Probably complaining about what a bad girl she was and how she wasn’t very nice. Hannah made her way to Daddy’s closet. She liked the smell in here. There was wool and leather and linen. Clean and crisp, just like Daddy. She’d gotten the little stool that Daddy kept in the bathroom for changing light bulbs and things and climbed up to the top shelf. There was a box there that Daddy never let her and Henry look in. But he wasn’t here and Henry was sleeping. Nobody else had to know what she was doing.
Carefully, she got the box down and set it on Daddy’s bed. It was locked, but that wasn’t a problem. Hannah had read all about Harry Houdini and learned how to pick locks because it sounded like fun. Henry hadn’t agreed with her, so she didn’t tell him when she did it. With a paperclip that was on Daddy’s night stand, she carefully worked the lock until she heard the magic click. Watching the door for a second and listening very closely in case the new nanny was off the phone and looking for her, she slowly opened the box.
There was lots of old stuff in the box. Pictures and articles that looked like they had been in the newspaper. There was even a small photo album down at the very bottom. Hannah very slowly brought her treasure to the surface. She opened the book and it took her a moment to recognize what she was seeing. It was her Daddy with a woman. He liked her very much. He was laughing and had his arm around her. Hannah didn’t remember ever seeing Daddy laugh. Not with her anyway. He’d laugh with Henry sometimes, but he always got quiet when Hannah came into the room. The lady in the picture looked very familar, but Hannah was sure she hadn’t seen her before. The only ladies that came around the house were the nannies and she looked much nicer than any of the nannies so far.
Henry started coughing, so Hannah put the photo album back at the bottom of the box and locked it again. She quickly returned it to the top shelf and put the stool back where Daddy kept it. No one would ever know she had been in her, least of all Daddy. But the lady’s face kept haunting her. She just knew she knew it from somewhere, but where?
It had taken her a long time to figure it out. She felt like such an idiot when she did. She was supposed to be smart. Smarter than a lot of adults even. Smarter than Henry, but she didn’t tell him that. The lady in the picture was her mommy. The mommy who left before she was even born. She finally figured it out looking the mirror one night while getting ready for bed. It was her face. Or it would be when she got bigger. No wonder Daddy didn’t want to look at her. She looked just like the mommy she made go away. Hannah stayed away from the mirror for a long time after that. She made a point of staying out of Daddy’s way too. She didn’t want to hurt him any more than she all ready had.
Alan Calder was in his office going over Hannah Michelle’s work from the day before. It was good solid work. The quality of Hannah’s work was never a problem. Hannah’s personality, however, that was a different story. It was a lucky thing for her that Doctor Hale was interested in results and that he wasn’t in the lab very often. Speak of the devil though.
“Alan, where are those test results? I told you to put Hannah on it, didn’t I? Don’t tell me she’s gone off on one of her rants about how our time could be better spent working on her ideas.”
“I won’t, because she hasn’t. She’s done some good work on writing up the test results and made some suggestions for improvement that should actually work.” Alan hand the results to Doctor Hale.
“Let me see that.” Doctor Hale sat down and started reading. Alan went to the coffee pot in the corner of the room and pour cups for both of them. He sat Doctor Hale’s cup on the desk near him and then took his seat behind the desk. He pulled up the schedule for the reviewers visit on his computer and started making notes as to what needed to be ready when and who should do it.
They worked steadily for an hour. During this time, Hannah had come in and was seeing how the notes she had made from her research in the library would work in this particular project. For once, she did not have her ever present CD player on. It was out, but every time she put the head set on, it didn’t help her concentrate. The track didn’t matter. All she thought of was him. She didn’t like it. She had work to do and he was keeping her from it. Just taking the notes and diving in did what the music and the notes couldn’t do together. For that she was thankful.
He didn’t go away entirely though. When she’d get to a point that didn’t require her complete concentration, a section where the math or the logic was not as involved, there he was. Talking to her, trying to make her smile. The most infuriating part was that she wanted to smile, wanted to talk. Wanted to not work. Wanted to play. With him. Wanted things she had given up wanting. Things she had tried to give up wanting.
Realizing she couldn’t work this way, she started gathering up her things. Maybe if she thought about him all the way home, when she got there she would be able to concentrate on what was really important to her. A fair compromise, she thought.
She hadn’t noticed the light on in Alan’s office when she came in. She did on her way out though. She headed over to the office to let him know that she had done some additional research and was sure she’d have a way to incorporate it by the end of the weekend with excellent results. She wasn’t prepared for the sound of voices coming from his office.
“She really can see things that other people can’t. It would have taken me weeks if not months to get to some of these conclusions. Remarkable.” That was Doctor Hale. How long had he been here?
“Yeah. She’s an amazing scientist.” Alan. Alan was saying something good about her work. He never complimented her work. What the hell was going on in the universe today? “Too bad she had the personality of alley cat.” That was more like it. “If she could work with the rest of the team better, we’d be months ahead of where we are now. Of course, we’re still months ahead of any other team working with this concept, but when you can see where we are and where we could be, and know that it’s all because of her, it’s just frustrating.”
“I understand, Alan. It would be nice if that brillian brain came with a pleasant personality as well, but God doesn’t often work that way.”
“Hilary flat out refuses to work with her any more. Donnie and Lester are ready to kill her if she talks down to them one more time. The only one who isn’t in open revolt is Ivan and I think that’s mostly because his English isn’t that great. It’s weird. She’ll take the time to explain things to him and answer questions, but everyone else she expects to keep up with her and doesn’t have the patience when they don’t. She’s actually almost nice to him.”
Ivan was the only one who was nice to her. The others thought they were better than she was. Just because she didn’t bother being nice to people who werent’ nice to her, they thought they were better. She couldn’t help it if she was smarter than they were; couldn’t help it if things made sense to her that they had to work harder at. She knew they hated that about her. Hated her because she didn’t see the point in the niceities of “polite society.” Hated her because they would never be able to do what she could do. Pitied her because she couldn’t do what they could.
“That will have to change soon. The team is getting too fractured. Hannah has her place and it works well for her, but she can’t continue working strictly on her own. It isn’t good for the project. Maybe if we had more researchers. Maybe if we had a larger facility in addition to the researchers, it would be okay. But we’re a small team. We need to be more cohesive.”
“What do you suggest? I don’t think we can improve her people skills at this point and I don’t want to let her go.”
“Neither do I, but we may not have a choice.”
“She’s doing a little better. She hasn’t gotten in any arguments in a few weeks. Maybe if we keep having her look for improvements or have her work on the initial end of things, to give the others more to work with.”
“They’ll end up resenting it. She’s almost through with all the test results we have so far. I don’t know what else we can do with her.”
“You know her father, don’t you.”
“We’ve met. I don’t see where that has anything to do with her work. They aren’t close.”
“There’s a surprise. Maybe he can think of something that we haven’t. Know who could get through to her.”
“I’ve heard she’s close to her twin brother. But I still don’t think it will make a difference. We’re near the end of the project any way. Could we wait until then? Then it wouldn’t seem so wrong.”
“I think so. None of them realize how close we are to finishing this phase. Maybe we can think of something between phases to keep her on. I’d hate to think of where we’d be if she weren’t working on this.”
“Me too.”
Hannah hurried to the exit. She wasn’t sure how she managed it. She couldn’t feel anything. Arms, legs, stomach, all gone. They were letting her go. It didn’t matter how good her work was. It didn’t matter that they’d be months behind without her. They were letting her go. Those sons of bitches. Didn’t they know how much they needed her? Didn’t they understand that without her none of this would work? How could they just make this decision? Hannah refused to think about how much it hurt. Hurting didn’t solve anything. Anger did. It may not make things better, but it did solve things. Sometimes that was the only important thing.
“Killing me softly with his song, singing my life with his words, killing me softly with his song, killing me softly with his song.” Molly sang to herself while getting dinner ready. Emma was laughing at the latest Sponge Bob antic on video. Molly’s favorite thing about the house was the way the kitchen looked out into the family room. The warmth of having her domain all within easy view just could not be beat. She looked at the clock and decided to take a break from cooking. Every thing was coming together just right and she didn’t need to start the vegetables until Henry got home.
She went in and sat down in Henry’s chair. She smiled. It wasn’t the most comfortable chair in the room, although it was very close. It was the fact that it was Henry’s. That and his reaction whenever he found her sitting in it. Equal parts tickled and territorial. He understood why she did it, but it was still his chair, dammit.
“Mommy.” Emma looked up at her from the floor.
“Yes, honey.”
“Is Aunt Hannah coming to visit this weekend?”
“No, baby, she’s not.”
“Why not?”
“Your Aunt Hannah is very busy with work. I’m sure she’ll come visit another time.”
“She never has.”
“I know, baby. But that doesn’t mean she never will. She’s just not a people person.”
“I’m not a people. I’m Emma.”
Molly smiled. “Yes, you are. And the most wonderful Emma at that. Now, why don’t you climb up here with your old mom and we’ll watch Sponge Bob and Patrick getting into trouble together.”
Emma scrambled up and got comfortable. Molly started the video over, not that she paid any attention to it, although Emma seemed to be enjoying it to no end. What would she do if the baby turned out to be like Hannah? A strange thought, she knew, but still. Henry had his moments. There seemed to be times when he was off in his own little world. No where near the extent that Hannah did it, but at those times she didn’t see the man she married. The man she loved. Molly had an older brother and sister and a younger sister and brother. The classic middle child. She just didn’t know what to do with too much time to herself. There was alway something that needed to be tended to and someone to tend to it with.
She really tried to like Hannah if only for Henry’s sake, but Hannah did
not make it easy. Molly was sure Hannah was jealous of her for taking Henry away. Not in any icky way, but just in having to share him with some one else. Hannah did not share anything well. She did seem very fond of Emma though, which at least spoke well of her sense. It was just beyond Molly’s ability to understand the choices Hannah made. How could she make work the most important thing in her life? How could she just turn her back on her family, her father? Didn’t she know that family is the only thing that’s important?
Molly had worked before Emma was born and she would return once Emma and the baby were in school, but replacing her babies with work was inconceiveable. Using work as an escape was incomprehensible, yet that was what Hannah did. Molly smiled and shook her head. For someone she was not all that fond of, she sure thought about her a lot.
Emma was starting to get wiggly. “Okay, sunshine. Time for Mom to check on dinner again. Wanna come help?”
Emma thought about the offer very hard. “No. I’m gonna stay here till Daddy gets home. He’s funny when some one sits in his chair.”
“That he is. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me for anything, okay.”
“Mommy, the kitchen is right there. I can still see you.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Molly got up. Puttering around the kitchen, she thought about the strange little family she had married into. A father and fraternal twins. The mother died in child birth. Apparently, no aunts or uncles or grandparents to speak of. Sometimes Molly wondered if what Henry loved about her most was her family. Along with her brothers and sisters, there were more cousins than she cared to count. Grandparents, great aunts and uncles in over abundance. They spent most holidays with them. Phillip seemed to have a bit of trouble relating to his children as well. He hadn’t known what to make of Emma when she was first born. He loved her. Any fool could see that, but how to deal with her? That was another story. He was the first person she’d call when she needed help finding a baby sitter or a nanny. He was on a first name basis with the presidents of five of the top child care providers in the state.
Henry had fond memories of his nannies. Molly was sure there would have only been one, maybe two, if it hadn’t been for Hannah. Henry got along with everyone. Henry was resilient. Henry was strong. Henry was dead if he didn’t get here in the next fifteen minutes.
Of course, things usually tend to happen all at once. Just as she heard Henry’s car pull into the drive way, the phone rang.
“Honey, start getting ready for dinner. Daddy’s home.”
“Daddy!” Emma ran out of the room.
“Hello.” Molly sent a silent thank you to whomever had invented the cordless phone. She moved to the counter and started the vegetables as she answered.
“Molly. Good to hear your voice. Is Henry there?” Phillip’s melodious baritone drifted over the phone line. Molly was conviced the reason he won so many cases was because the women jurors just couldn’t say no to that voice. It was a shame he had never remarried.
“He just pulled up in the drive. We’re about to sit down for dinner. Could he call you back right after?”
“Certainly. Tell him to call the office number. Be sure to give my love to Emma and the new one.”
“Will do, Phillip. Talk to you later.” Molly set the phone down as Emma pulled her daddy into the room.
“Was that Dad on the phone?” Henry knew better than to bring a briefcase in with him with Emma in the lead. He sat down at the dining table and Emma crawled into his lap to tell him all about her day. He started tickling her in order to hear Molly.
“Yes. He wants you to call him after dinner. Baby, go wash your hands. We’re going to eat soon.”
“Okay.” Emma hugged her daddy real hard around the neck before sliding off his lap and going to her bathroom.
“Did he say what he wanted?”
“Just that you should call him at the office number. Oh, and love to Emma and the new one.”
Henry smiled at the exasperation in his wife’s voice. It tickled him to no end that she could not figure out how to react to his father. He remembered the fights Dad and Hannah got into when they were younger. It seems the women in his life are always expecting more from his father than his father is able to give.
“Okay then. I’ll go wash up myself. Smells good.”
Molly turned and watched her husband’s retreating form. Sometimes she wondered about him. About how different he really was from his father and sister. He did everything right. Was he just giving her what he thought she wanted or did he really mean it? He really didn’t do spontaneous well.
“I’ll put Emma to bed. Why don’t you go ahead and call your father?” Molly took Emma by the hand and led her down the hall.
Henry took the phone out of the charger and went to his chair to call. Might as well be comfortable especially since he didn’t know what was coming. The only thing he was sure of was that Dad wasn’t cancelling this weekend. It was the second constant where his father was concerned. The first being how hard he worked. Henry dialed the office number from memory. He knew it better than his dad’s home number. He often wondered why Dad had a home phone.
“Pearce.”
“Hi, Dad. It’s Henry. Molly said you’d called.”
“Yes, well. Have you talked to your sister lately?”
“No, not really. I got a letter from her yesterday and was going to answer her tonight, but it’s been a month, maybe two, since we’ve gone up to see her. Why?"
“I got a call from Doctor Hale, her supervisor at the university. He’s concerned about her. Seems to think she’s a little more odd than usual. The thing is they are going to have to let her go soon. This phase of the project is wrapping up quicker than expected, but Hannah’s not going to be asked back for the next phase. She’s just too disruptive. The other members of the team don’t like working with her and they can’t let her work by herself. She’ll either generate too much work for the other team members or she’ll fly through the results of their work and be at loose ends while they’re stillworking. Neither option is good for her.”
“No, it’s not. Or for anyone around her. She does not do bored well. Is there anything she can do? For all her complaining, I think she really loves what she’s doing.”
“Oh, I’m sure of that, but Doctor Hale doesn’t think so and his opinion is the one that matters. Could you talk to her? I’d go up, but....”
“I know. Sure. I’ll rearrange some of my appointments for tomorrow or the next day and head up there. It’ll be good to see her. Does she know about the dismissal?”
“No. Doctor Hale didn’t think it would be a good idea to get her worked up. You’ll have to be careful what you say to her, but maybe just focus on her future. You said she was complaining.”
“Dad, if she’s breathing, she’s complaining. That doesn’t mean anything. Maybe we can steer her toward writing. She’d only have to work with an editor eventually. My friend Will is working on a book, maybe she could work with him.”
“I thought you said he was your friend.”
“He is, Dad. He’s pretty easy going and he’s home bound. If we could just convince her to join the twenty-first century, she wouldn’t even have to go over there.”
“And the chances of that happening?”
“About the same as finding dancing girls on Venus. It’s a thought. I’ll talk to Molly and see if she has any ideas.”
“Yes, because they’re such good friends.”
“Dad. I know they don’t get along, but Molly’s pretty good about working around her.”
“Who isn’t? Look, son, when you talk to her, could you...?”
“She knows, but I’ll remind her. You know too, right?”
“Yeah. I do. I’d better let you go. Molly’ll kill me for keeping you on the phone too long. Give her my love, would you.”
“Will do. We look forward to seeing you this weekend. Emma’s going to introduce you to Sponge Bob and Patrick.”
“Are they friends of hers?”
“In a manner of speaking. Get here early, okay?”
“Okay. See you this weekend.”
“Bye.”
Henry turned on the tv to CNN and didn’t really pay attention while he was thinking of how he was going to talk to Hannah. What he was going to say to her that wouldn’t tip her off that she was going to lose her job and make her think whatever it was was her idea. For once, he counted Hannah’s lack of observational skill in his favor. She wouldn’t have noticed that this phase of the project was wrapping up or that she wasn’t being considered part of the team for the next phase. He had a fresh start, so to speak. If he could just figure out what it was, he stood a chance of convincing her it was her idea, not his. If it was her idea, it was good.
There weren’t many ideas that were feasible. The more obvious ones were quickly discarded simply because they were so obvious. He kept coming back to the idea that Hannah might be able to help Will with his book somehow. She liked research, he liked research. Granted it was researching different things, but hey, beggars really can’t be choosers, can they.
Molly came back into the family room during the weather report. Henry was doing that thing where he talked to himself under his breath as he was making plans. He never caught on that he was doing it either. Every time Molly pointed it out him, he argued with her. He accepted that he snored more easily than this. Although he did react exactly the same way when she tried to tell him he talked in his sleep.
“What did Phillip want?”
“Hannah’s project at the university is coming to an end. This phase of it anyway, and it’s unlikely that they are going to ask her back for the next phase. Dad wanted to know if I’d go up and talk to her, see if maybe I can give her something to focus on when she finds out so it won’t be too bad for her.”
“When are you going?”
“Tomorrow or the day after. It depends on when I can get my schedule cleared.”
“Have you come up with anything yet?” Molly sat on the corner of the sofa that was closest to Henry’s chair.
“The only thing I keep coming back to is having her help Will with his book.”
“I thought Will was your friend.”
“Why does everyone say that? Would you believe he asked me about Hannah today because his brother is working at the university now?”
“What did you say?”
“I just pointed out that the last guy who asked her out was just now getting off crutches. She’d be able to work on her on. And Will does better when he has someone to collaborate with. You know, bounce ideas off and Hannah does like that.”
“What could he afford to pay her?”
“Good question. I was just thinking of something to keep her busy. There are the trust funds Mom left each of us. She could live off that. And I don’t think they’re letting her go from the university entirely, just Doctor Hale’s project. She’s not too bad one on one.”
“Coming from the only one she likes.”
“That’s not true. She likes Emma.”
“Emma’s a little young. I’m sure she’ll change her mind as she gets older.”
“No. I know you don’t get her, but once she decides someone is okay, she doesn’t change her mind.”
“So I’m not okay.”
“Molly, that’s not it and you know it. She knows I love you and that matters to her. She just doesn’t expect much from other people and you haven’t exactly gone out of your way to make her like you.”
“So it’s my fault she’s a bitch.”
“Don’t call her that and that’s not what I said. You don’t like her.
she doesn’t like you. Neither of you has made any effort to change that. If I’m assigning blame, you both have an equal share.”
“Like King Soloman and the baby?”
“I’m not suggesting anyone chop me in half so you two can be happy. Although I’d hope that wouldn’t make anyone happy.”
“I’m not so sure right now.” Molly smiled with a twinkle in her eye. He went so far out of his way to see all side of an issue. She had to concede his point. They hadn’t liked each other from the first and they hadn’t made any effort to change it. That didn’t mean she had to like the facts as they were though. “Okay. Fine. You’re right. What do you want me to do?”
“About not liking Hannah or about keeping her busy?”
“About keeping her busy. Let’s not rush things here. I think I can safely say neither of us is ready for a full scale peace negotiations just yet. But I will try being a little nicer the next time we see her, okay.”
“Okay. So, any ideas?”
“None that don’t involve a really large box and parcel post.”
“Does she at least have air holes in this really large box?”
“Of course and water and power bars. I’m thinking Madagascar as a destination.”
“Why Madagascar?”
“Who goes there?”
Henry laughed and Molly joined in. Molly continued to through out silly ideas for the sole purpose of making Henry laugh until they were both yawning almost constantly. They shuffled off to bed and even if Henry didn’t have a clue about what to do with Hannah, at least he felt better about the situation in general.
Hannah couldn’t fall asleep. Truth be told, she hadn’t tried. She didn’t work. She didn’t read. She was having trouble even thinking. There was one thought, one idea that wouldn’t leave her be. I’m off the project. I’m off the project. I’m off the project. I’m off the project.
There was an emptiness that engulfed her. She’d always known she had no people or social skills to speak of, but it never occurred to her that it would really make a difference. She did good work. She questioned and challenged and the final product was always better for it. Always. Why was this time different? What made it different? Was there something she could have done differently? Maybe she could have made more of an effort, but it never did her any good before. The nannies always left and always because of her. Hell, even Mommy left because of her. Logically she knew that wasn’t the case, but viscerally it was true. Only Henry stayed. Daddy couldn’t even be around her.
She had been looking in Daddy’s room one afternoon when they were little and Henry had had a cold. Hannah had been lucky that time. She was usually the one who got sick. She hated being sick, but she liked taking care of Henry. He was sleeping now.
Daddy was at work of course and the new nanny was in the kitchen on the phone. Probably complaining about what a bad girl she was and how she wasn’t very nice. Hannah made her way to Daddy’s closet. She liked the smell in here. There was wool and leather and linen. Clean and crisp, just like Daddy. She’d gotten the little stool that Daddy kept in the bathroom for changing light bulbs and things and climbed up to the top shelf. There was a box there that Daddy never let her and Henry look in. But he wasn’t here and Henry was sleeping. Nobody else had to know what she was doing.
Carefully, she got the box down and set it on Daddy’s bed. It was locked, but that wasn’t a problem. Hannah had read all about Harry Houdini and learned how to pick locks because it sounded like fun. Henry hadn’t agreed with her, so she didn’t tell him when she did it. With a paperclip that was on Daddy’s night stand, she carefully worked the lock until she heard the magic click. Watching the door for a second and listening very closely in case the new nanny was off the phone and looking for her, she slowly opened the box.
There was lots of old stuff in the box. Pictures and articles that looked like they had been in the newspaper. There was even a small photo album down at the very bottom. Hannah very slowly brought her treasure to the surface. She opened the book and it took her a moment to recognize what she was seeing. It was her Daddy with a woman. He liked her very much. He was laughing and had his arm around her. Hannah didn’t remember ever seeing Daddy laugh. Not with her anyway. He’d laugh with Henry sometimes, but he always got quiet when Hannah came into the room. The lady in the picture looked very familar, but Hannah was sure she hadn’t seen her before. The only ladies that came around the house were the nannies and she looked much nicer than any of the nannies so far.
Henry started coughing, so Hannah put the photo album back at the bottom of the box and locked it again. She quickly returned it to the top shelf and put the stool back where Daddy kept it. No one would ever know she had been in her, least of all Daddy. But the lady’s face kept haunting her. She just knew she knew it from somewhere, but where?
It had taken her a long time to figure it out. She felt like such an idiot when she did. She was supposed to be smart. Smarter than a lot of adults even. Smarter than Henry, but she didn’t tell him that. The lady in the picture was her mommy. The mommy who left before she was even born. She finally figured it out looking the mirror one night while getting ready for bed. It was her face. Or it would be when she got bigger. No wonder Daddy didn’t want to look at her. She looked just like the mommy she made go away. Hannah stayed away from the mirror for a long time after that. She made a point of staying out of Daddy’s way too. She didn’t want to hurt him any more than she all ready had.
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Congratulations!
Of course, my writing is not so polished as yours. I've taken the "writing utter crap" theme to heart.
xoxo