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Foolish girl, still pressing on gamely. I will finish the month with 50,000 words. I will.
The phone had to be on its tenth ring before Will heard it. He’d finally gotten it worked out how to go about the next section of his book and it was going well. Obviously, whoever was calling knew him well and knew that not only would he be home, it would take him a while to answer.
“Hello, Doug.”
“Hello, brother dear. How’s the book?”
“Was going better before I had to answer the phone. What’s up?”
“I met someone on campus today. I think it was your friend Henry’s sister.”
“All bones still intact?”
“Huh?”
“Henry was saying she didn’t go easy on potential suitors, so I was wondering how you were physically.”
“Oh, fine. She’s interesting. A little skittish.”
“Interesting. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone call her that before. Or skittish for that matter. What happened?”
“She walked into me when she was leaving the library.”
“Completely by accident.”
“Yeah. Okay, I’ve seen her around campus and I just... want to get to know her. But I really wasn’t paying attention when I went to the library. Anyway, I walked with her to MacNair Hall and talked. She smiled.”
“Hannah Pearce smiled? Henry’s sister Hannah? Smiled? Because of something you did?”
“Well, not directly because of me, but, yeah, she smiled.”
“The end of the world is nigh.”
“Will. She’s not easy to get to know. I got that, but why does everyone act like she some sort of, I don’t know, gorgon or something. She’s just a person. She can’t be that different, can she?”
“No, I don’t suppose she can. But, Dougie, even Henry admits she doesn’t like people or places or things. Nouns in general really. Don’t think she’s too fond of verbs either.”
Doug smiled. “Have you even met her?”
“Once. She was civil, but she left us alone real quick. So, do you like her?”
“I like what I’ve seen so far. I think she might like me too. I just don’t want to scare her off, you know.”
“I remember that. Well, you’d better have the patience of a whole heaven of saints then. This isn’t in reaction to Betty’s latest ‘Fix Doug Up’ project, is it? ‘Cause they are easier ways to prove you’re not gay.”
“Wait. What? Betty thinks I’m gay?”
“Yeah. What did you think all those guys were doing at the house the last time you visited?”
“How did you know about that?”
“Dad filled me in. So, were any of them cute?”
“Dude, that’s just not right. I’m talking to you about a girl, granted a difficult girl and you’re asking me about cute guys that my stepmother is trying to fix me up with. That’s not even in the same neighborhood as right. It might not be in the same country.”
“Fine, you want to talk about girls, or a girl in particular, go ahead. But I really think you shouldn’t disregard Betty’s matchmaking attempts just yet. After you get rejected enough times by Hannah, a guy might look pretty good.”
“Okay, that’s it. I called to check in with my big brother and let him know what’s going on in my life, cause you know, he might care and he’s trying to talk me into dating guys. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it’s not for me.”
“Hannah probably won’t be for you either.”
“Why is everyone so quick to write her off? She just needs, I don’t know. Someone to believe she’s more than she appears I guess.”
“I’m sure she is, Doug, but I don’t want to see you get hurt. She’s a lot of work and that’s even for her brother whom she loves.”
“Did you ever think she might be worth it?”
“I think the better question may be does she think she’s worth it. Think about it.”
“I will. I’d better let you go. You’ve got the book going and all. Talk to you later.”
Will looked at the handset before hanging up. “Family is definitely a bitch.”
Hannah went to the pay phone in the hall the next morning. She didn’t get any sleep the night before and just can’t face going in to the lab today. She would have expected anger, rage really, but not this disappointment, this emptiness. She idly wonders when that will hit as she listens to the phone ring in Alan’s office.
“Alan Calder.”
“Hi, Alan. It’s Hannah. I’m not coming in today. I think I’m coming down with the flu or a cold or something. I’m not sure if I’m contagious, but it’s not worth taking the chance I think.”
“Do you need us to bring you anything, medicine, chicken soup?”
“No, thanks for asking.” Hannah moved the phone away and called up a pretty decent lung rattling cough. “There’s a little deli across the street and I have some benadryl, so I’m just going to take that and sleep. Call if you need anything or have any questions. There’s a lady that lives down the hall who’s always here. She’ll come get me.”
“You just get some rest. Dream of the lovely pile of work waiting for tomorrow.”
“Yeah, I will. Bye.”
Hannah hung up without waiting for Alan’s response. It had finally clicked. What she needed to do now. The anger still hadn’t materialized, but she did have clarity. Her pet project that even she secretly thought of as a goof, a someday sort of thing, would have a real function. A real place in the world. A mirthless smile grew on her lips. She knew they wouldn’t like it and somehow that made it all the more important that it work.
It took a bit of doing, but Henry was able to clear his schedule for Friday. He headed out early that morning. He still didn’t have any idea what he was going to say to her. He just knew that it was important to make the effort. She was worth the effort. He just didn’t know how to make her beliee that though.
The drive up to the medium sized university town that Hannah lived in was usually a pleasant one. It wasn’t often that he made the drive up without his girls. Emma adored her aunt for all of Molly’s coolness toward Hannah. Maybe because of it. He had long believed that children picked up on more than adults, and parents especially, wanted to believe. If Emma had picked up on Molly’s coolness towards to Hannah, it would be just like Emma to make up for it.
Though it wasn’t something he did often, he let himself imagine different paths his life could have taken. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his life as it was. He did, but it was an interesting intellectual exercise.
In no time at all, he had made his way to the university and MacNair Hall. He thought he would make plans with Hannah for lunch and then walk around the campus until lunch time. He’d all ready decided to stop and see Will on his way back home. So, except for the conversation with Hannah, it was looking to be a pleasant day.
He scanned the work room as he entered. No Hannah. Well, he was a little early. Maybe she hadn’t made it in yet or perhaps she went to the bathroom. Although it seemed as though just about everyone else was there. There was Hilary, whose name was easy to remember since she was the only other female and the three guys, Donnie, Ivan and Lester, though Henry couldn’t have said which was which if his life depended on it, and Alan Calder, Hannah’s immediate supervisor. Mostly he recognized him because he was standing in the doorway to his office that had his name on it.
“I’m sorry. Can I help you?” It was one of the interchangeable guys.
“Yes. I’m looking for my sister, Hannah Pearce.” Henry didn’t miss the guarded look that flickered across the young man’s face. Had she been dismissed all ready or was that just the normal expression of someone who has to deal with her on a regular basis?
“Hannah called in sick. I’m Alan Calder, by the way.” He walked over to Henry and shook hands. “Care for a cup of coffee? I have a fresh pot in my office.”
“Sure.” Henry wondered what was on the other man’s mind. It was obvious he wanted to talk. Probably the same thing that Henry had come up for - to talk about keeping Hannah busy when she no longer worked on the project.
Alan shut the door to his office and went to the coffee pot. “Take anything with your coffee?”
“Just sugar. I’m not much of a coffee drinker.”
“Neither is Hannah. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her drink a cup of coffee the entire time I’ve known her.”
“She likes it well enough, but you know her fondness for being contrary.”
“Yes, I do.” Alan chuckled. “So, what brings you all the way up here on a weekday? Not a family emergency, I hope.”
“No, nothing like that.” Henry decided to lay his cards on the table. Maybe Alan would have some ideas for keeping Hannah busy. “Our father called the other night after speaking with Doctor Hale. We thought it would be a good idea if I came up and talked to her about some alternative activities once the project ends.”
“I see. She will still have her position here at the university.”
“I know that, but Hannah doesn’t respond well to down time. She needs to work, to keep busy. I think she’s really enjoyed working on this project. She hasn’t complained so much about something since she was working on her masters.”
“The more she complains, the more she likes it? I have to admit, that’s a new one on me. So, do you have any ideas?”
“One, but I doubt it’s a good one. I have a friend who’s writing a book, but the research is eating his lunch. Hannah loves to research and I think she’s one of the original grammar Nazis.”
“We’ve noticed that here as well. Words, numbers, punctuation, it doesn’t matter. They all have to be in their proper order. If there is a rule for it, you must follow it.”
“That’s my girl. The big problem wiht that is that Will is home bound and well, you know Hannah’s feelings about technology. I’m not sure it would be fair to subject him to my sister on a daily basis.”
“She does really well with the students she tutors. Far better than I would have imagined.”
“But that’s only for an hour or so at a time. Several hours a day, several days a week, I don’t know.”
“Have you spoken to your friend? Found out what he thinks about this?”
“Not yet. I’ve been so focused on Hannah and trying to figure out a way to help her through this. Besides, I know he’ll give it a shot if I ask him.”
“Good friend,” said Alan.
“The best. I’m planning on stopping by and seeing him on my way back. So, do you have any ideas, thoughts, suggestions?”
“No. I really wish we could keep her on, but it just doesn’t seem likely.”
“Have you talked to the other members of the team?”
“No, we haven’t. I’m not really sure what that would accomplish.”
“Maybe they aren’t as anti-Hannah as they seem. I can’t believe they have a problem with the quality of her work. How are things actually going in the lab?”
“Fine at the moment. But we have had complaints in the past.”
“How long has it been since you’ve had a complaint?”
“A while now that I think about it. Three or four months at least. What are you getting at?”
“Maybe they’ll surprise you if you talk to them. If it’s been working, who’s to say that it won’t continue to work. Hannah couldn’t care less about credit. She just wants to work.”
“I have to disagree with you there. Credit is just as important to Hannah as it is to anyone else here. That’s what caused most of the problems.”
“But you said yourself that there haven’t been any problems for months now.”
“Fine, Doctor Pearce. I’ll talk to eah of the team members individually and see how they feel about keeping Hannah on the team. I make no promises about what they’ll say.”
“Just as long as you listen to them. If their feelings are the reason for letting Hannah go, doesn’t it make sense to talk to them and see if that’s what they want.”
Alan didn’t respond, but the look in his eyes said volumes about family traits. Henry understood the look all too well. It was possible he had been a little out of line, but Henry wasn’t entirely convinced there was a line where Hannah was concerned.
“I guess I’d better be on my way then. Thanks for the coffee. Look, I know it’s not a possibility, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say anything to Hannah before it’s absolutely necessary. She deosn’t react to uncertainly well.”
“None of us do. You have my word. Thanks for stopping by.”
Alan made nice and polite by walking Henry to the door of the lab. Henry wondered if there might be some objective observations in all of Hannah’s rants about the man. Henry could not completely shake the feeling that he would not talk to the others on the team. That he was taking advantage of Hannah’s personality problems in order to remove the competition. Which given Hannah’s personality didn’t make any sense at all. As much as Henry hated to admit it, he and Hannah weren’t as completely opposite as he would like to pretend.
He pulled up in front of Hannah’s apartment building. The street was nice enough, if a little run down. It was mostly older homes that lined the street with the occassional double lot for gardens. The slides and swing sets were mostly unplayed with except for the joyous visits from grandchildren and possibly great grandchildren in some cases.
Hannah’s building looked like it had most likely been built in the 1940’s, probably after World War II. Henry knew it was that sense of history that attracted Hannah to this place, at least in part. Truth be told, it was something he himself really liked about it as well. If he had had his way, he and Molly would have found an old house and renovated it instead of building a new one. Not that he didn’t love his home, but he couldn’t help wondering if it would still be there sixty years from now. He would like to think that it would, but who knows.
Hannah had insisted on an apartment on the third floor. Henry supposed it was one way of making sure she got her exercise. There was an elevator, but it was out of order as often as not.
He found himself wishing for a flashlight as he made it to the third floor. The sparse light bulbs, few and far between, really did nothing in the way of lighting the hallway. It was only by looking directly at the bare bulbs themselves that he knew for certain they were on.
Finally assured that he had found Hannah’s apartment, he knocked loudly on the door. He waited a minute and then knocked again, just as loudly. Hannah slept the sleep of the dead under the best of circumstances. Before completing the third series of knocking, the door was jerked open roughly.
“What the hell...? Henry?” Hannah threw herself into Henry’s arms. “It’s so good to see you. What are you doing here?” Hannah held on to him with all her might. She never wanted to let go, even though she knew she had to eventually. “Come in. Come in.” She finally broke the hug, but took him by the hand and drug him into the apartment.
“Love what you’ve done with the place.” Henry took off his over coat as Hannah cleared some space off her futon.
“Ha, ha, ha. You know me. As long as I have room to sleep and hot water for a shower, I’m set. Molly’s the decorator in the family. How’s she doing, by the way? And Emma? Looking forward to her new little brother or sister? Or is it twins? Do you know yet?”
Henry sat on the other end of the futon, turned to face Hannah. “Slow down. Slow down. Molly and Emma are fine. Yes, Emma is looking forward to her new little brother. No twins yet. How are you feeling? I stopped by the school and Alan Calder said you called in sick. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing really. Just some early cold symptoms. I’m pretty much caught up at work, so it seemed like a good idea to stay home and head it off at the pass. Seems to be doing the trick. You haven’t said what you’re doing here.”
“I was going to see Will and thought it would be a perfect chance to run up and see you as well. Your letters are nice and all, but it’s much nicer seeing you.”
“That’s what I keep saying. Why are you starting to listen to me now?”
“I always listen to you, baby sister. I just don’t always do what you say.”
“Poor you. When’s your meeting with Will?”
“This afternoon. Did I tell you he’s working on a book?”
“No, you didn’t. What’s it about?”
“Something to do with the overlapping of science and religion before the Renaissance, I think. Have to admit I didn’t really pay attention when he told me about it. It seemed to make him happy and that was enough for me.”
“Ever the inquisitive one. Want some tea? I’ve got the best white tea and tangerine blend you can imagine.”
“No. I’m fine. You might want to keep an eye out for Will’s brother, Doug. He started working on campus at the beginning of the fall semester.”
“Tall. Short, dark hair, hazel eyes, looks like a runner. Last name Gardiner as well.”
“I’m not sure about the description, but yeah, his last name is Gardiner. Why?”
“I ran into him on campus last night. Literally. I was leaving the library and he was coming in and slam. Didn’t knock him over though.” Hannah smiled in a way Henry couldn’t remember ever seeing before. “He even walked me to the lab after I told him not to.”
“Hannah, do you like him?” Henry’s voice slipped easily into a teasing, sing song tone that Hannah hadn’t heard in a very long time.
“I’ve only met him the once. How can I like him or not like him? Besides, I don’t like anybody, remember. What would make him different?”
“I don’t know. The fact that he didn’t let you get away with your usual nonsense?”
“How do you know he did that?”
“Because you said he walked you to the lab after you told him not to. He didn’t let you get away with your usual games. Good for him.”
“Good for him? What about me?”
“Good for you too in my opinion. Han, you know how I feel about your lifestyle. It isn’t healthy for anyone to put work before anything or anyone else. I just worry about you. Getting to know Doug might be a good thing.”
“Henry, you’re jumping the gun. It’s not like it was love at first sight or anything. Besides, once he gets to really know me, he’ll be gone. You know that. Either that or he’ll decide it’s really men he’s interested in.”
“Definitely not on that score. His step mother is trying to fix him up with every eligible gay man in the state from what Will says. If that hasn’t convinced him to play for the home team, I doubt very much that you could.”
“Oh, ye of little faith.” Hannah paused. “Why does his step mother think he’s gay?”
“Who knows? Will thinks she watched too much Seinfeld. He’s probably right.”
“Why would watching Seinfeld make her think her step son might be gay?”
“According to Will, Betty is famous for going off on tangents. Maybe she thinks it will make her look cool in front of all the other step moms. Maybe she needs to get a job or volunteer at a hospital or charity or something. The woman definitely has too much time on her hands.”
“Sounds like it. So, he’s definitely not gay?” Hannah walked over to her tiny kitchen and put the kettle on, having decided a cup of tea sounded like a very good thing indeed.
“Not according to Will. But since neither he nor I have first hand experience, maybe you’ll have to ask him the next time you see him.”
“Henry.”
Henry smiled at the tone in Hannah’s voice. Threatening and embarrassed all at the same time. Oh, yeah, she liked Doug. Hannah liked Doug. Hannah liked Doug. Doug liked Hannah. Maybe. His smile faded. It wasn’t a good idea for them to hook up now than it had been when Will mentioned it the other day on the phone. But the other day on the phone, Henry didn’t think there was a snowball’s chance in hell that Hannah would like Doug back. Would it really be enough to make a difference?
“What do you think of him?”
Hannah sat at the kitchen table. She didn’t look at her brother. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what she thought or how she felt about Doug Gardiner.
“I don’t know. But I think I might want to find out. And that scares the hell out of me. You’re the only one....”
“That’s not true. I’m the only one you let in. Lots of people would like you if you gave them a chance, but you run off anyone who could care about you because it fits in with your peculiar world view. You’re special, Han, but you won’t let anyone see it. But since that discussion has been beaten into the ground, I’m changing the subject. How’s the project going?”
“Oh, you know. Same old, same old. We’re up for review in a couple of weeks, so Alan’s being a right pain in the neck. I think we might be ahead of schedule though. Alan’s been having me go over test results for the last week or so to see where we can improve the testing.”
“Have you thought about what you want to do when this phase of the project is over?”
“What do you mean?” The kettle started whistling at the precise moment, so Hannah couldn’t watch him as closely as she wanted to. Did he know they were going to dismiss her? How could he have found out? Did that son of a bitch Hale call Father the way he talked about? Why won’t people just leave her alone? Was that really too much to ask?
“Well, your letters have been more complaints than anything else about the project. I was just wondering if maybe you felt it would be time to move on to something else. Maybe a completely different direction even.”
“Like what direction?”
“The research on his book is driving Will nuts. Maybe you could help him out when the project ends, just to keep yourself busy.”
“And out of trouble. Thanks for the concern, Henry, but I really don’t see myself as errand girl for some house bound literary geek.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it. Besides, it would give you a chance to find out more about Doug.” Henry knew he was tempting fate by harping on his sister’s interest in his friend’s brother. It was just that he hadn’t seen that smile on Hannah’s face ever. He knew she had had some crushes in high school, but he also knew they never got very far. If she was really interested this time, interested enough to take a chance, maybe invoking the wrath of Hannah Pearce would be worth it.
“What if I don’t want to find out more about Doug?”
“Interesting that you phrased that in the form of a question instead of a definitive statement. So I must reply, what if you do want to find out more about Doug?”
“Okay, what if I do. It won’t change anything. He’ll still leave.” Hannah was again sitting in her chair at the kitchen table. She had one foot tucked under her and her hand were wrapped around the cup of tea as though it were the only thing keeping her from freezing to death.
“You don’t know that. You might be the one to leave for all you know. Or neither one of you will leave. It could change everything, Han. And even if he does leave, what’s the worst that could happen? You’d go right back to being the same old Hannah.”
“But I wouldn’t be, would I?” Hannah stared at Henry, a question and a challenge in her eyes. “How did you know Molly was the one?”
“It took me a while. I knew from the first, well second, time I saw her that she was someone I could really care about, but that didn’t make it any less scary. I just knew that I had to find out. That I couldn’t not know what she could mean to me. It’s still scary, Han, but it’s right. I’m amazed everyday that I have what I have. Just for the record, I include you in that as well.”
“Thanks. Henry, do you really think people can change?”
“I think they can if they really want to. Do you?”
“I’m not sure it really matters what I want. Things happen whether I want them to or not. It’s not fair.”
“No, it’s not. How about we get some lunch? I’m starving and if I know you, you finished your last yogurt this morning and haven’t been shopping in a couple of weeks.”
“Maybe. So you’re buying, right.”
“Of course. Never let it be said I shirked my familial responsibilities.”
“Oh, no. Can never let anyone say that about you. Me, yes. You, no."
Roughly 20,000 words behind today's "where I should be" count. It's a good thing I excel at getting things done at the last minute.
The phone had to be on its tenth ring before Will heard it. He’d finally gotten it worked out how to go about the next section of his book and it was going well. Obviously, whoever was calling knew him well and knew that not only would he be home, it would take him a while to answer.
“Hello, Doug.”
“Hello, brother dear. How’s the book?”
“Was going better before I had to answer the phone. What’s up?”
“I met someone on campus today. I think it was your friend Henry’s sister.”
“All bones still intact?”
“Huh?”
“Henry was saying she didn’t go easy on potential suitors, so I was wondering how you were physically.”
“Oh, fine. She’s interesting. A little skittish.”
“Interesting. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone call her that before. Or skittish for that matter. What happened?”
“She walked into me when she was leaving the library.”
“Completely by accident.”
“Yeah. Okay, I’ve seen her around campus and I just... want to get to know her. But I really wasn’t paying attention when I went to the library. Anyway, I walked with her to MacNair Hall and talked. She smiled.”
“Hannah Pearce smiled? Henry’s sister Hannah? Smiled? Because of something you did?”
“Well, not directly because of me, but, yeah, she smiled.”
“The end of the world is nigh.”
“Will. She’s not easy to get to know. I got that, but why does everyone act like she some sort of, I don’t know, gorgon or something. She’s just a person. She can’t be that different, can she?”
“No, I don’t suppose she can. But, Dougie, even Henry admits she doesn’t like people or places or things. Nouns in general really. Don’t think she’s too fond of verbs either.”
Doug smiled. “Have you even met her?”
“Once. She was civil, but she left us alone real quick. So, do you like her?”
“I like what I’ve seen so far. I think she might like me too. I just don’t want to scare her off, you know.”
“I remember that. Well, you’d better have the patience of a whole heaven of saints then. This isn’t in reaction to Betty’s latest ‘Fix Doug Up’ project, is it? ‘Cause they are easier ways to prove you’re not gay.”
“Wait. What? Betty thinks I’m gay?”
“Yeah. What did you think all those guys were doing at the house the last time you visited?”
“How did you know about that?”
“Dad filled me in. So, were any of them cute?”
“Dude, that’s just not right. I’m talking to you about a girl, granted a difficult girl and you’re asking me about cute guys that my stepmother is trying to fix me up with. That’s not even in the same neighborhood as right. It might not be in the same country.”
“Fine, you want to talk about girls, or a girl in particular, go ahead. But I really think you shouldn’t disregard Betty’s matchmaking attempts just yet. After you get rejected enough times by Hannah, a guy might look pretty good.”
“Okay, that’s it. I called to check in with my big brother and let him know what’s going on in my life, cause you know, he might care and he’s trying to talk me into dating guys. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it’s not for me.”
“Hannah probably won’t be for you either.”
“Why is everyone so quick to write her off? She just needs, I don’t know. Someone to believe she’s more than she appears I guess.”
“I’m sure she is, Doug, but I don’t want to see you get hurt. She’s a lot of work and that’s even for her brother whom she loves.”
“Did you ever think she might be worth it?”
“I think the better question may be does she think she’s worth it. Think about it.”
“I will. I’d better let you go. You’ve got the book going and all. Talk to you later.”
Will looked at the handset before hanging up. “Family is definitely a bitch.”
Hannah went to the pay phone in the hall the next morning. She didn’t get any sleep the night before and just can’t face going in to the lab today. She would have expected anger, rage really, but not this disappointment, this emptiness. She idly wonders when that will hit as she listens to the phone ring in Alan’s office.
“Alan Calder.”
“Hi, Alan. It’s Hannah. I’m not coming in today. I think I’m coming down with the flu or a cold or something. I’m not sure if I’m contagious, but it’s not worth taking the chance I think.”
“Do you need us to bring you anything, medicine, chicken soup?”
“No, thanks for asking.” Hannah moved the phone away and called up a pretty decent lung rattling cough. “There’s a little deli across the street and I have some benadryl, so I’m just going to take that and sleep. Call if you need anything or have any questions. There’s a lady that lives down the hall who’s always here. She’ll come get me.”
“You just get some rest. Dream of the lovely pile of work waiting for tomorrow.”
“Yeah, I will. Bye.”
Hannah hung up without waiting for Alan’s response. It had finally clicked. What she needed to do now. The anger still hadn’t materialized, but she did have clarity. Her pet project that even she secretly thought of as a goof, a someday sort of thing, would have a real function. A real place in the world. A mirthless smile grew on her lips. She knew they wouldn’t like it and somehow that made it all the more important that it work.
It took a bit of doing, but Henry was able to clear his schedule for Friday. He headed out early that morning. He still didn’t have any idea what he was going to say to her. He just knew that it was important to make the effort. She was worth the effort. He just didn’t know how to make her beliee that though.
The drive up to the medium sized university town that Hannah lived in was usually a pleasant one. It wasn’t often that he made the drive up without his girls. Emma adored her aunt for all of Molly’s coolness toward Hannah. Maybe because of it. He had long believed that children picked up on more than adults, and parents especially, wanted to believe. If Emma had picked up on Molly’s coolness towards to Hannah, it would be just like Emma to make up for it.
Though it wasn’t something he did often, he let himself imagine different paths his life could have taken. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his life as it was. He did, but it was an interesting intellectual exercise.
In no time at all, he had made his way to the university and MacNair Hall. He thought he would make plans with Hannah for lunch and then walk around the campus until lunch time. He’d all ready decided to stop and see Will on his way back home. So, except for the conversation with Hannah, it was looking to be a pleasant day.
He scanned the work room as he entered. No Hannah. Well, he was a little early. Maybe she hadn’t made it in yet or perhaps she went to the bathroom. Although it seemed as though just about everyone else was there. There was Hilary, whose name was easy to remember since she was the only other female and the three guys, Donnie, Ivan and Lester, though Henry couldn’t have said which was which if his life depended on it, and Alan Calder, Hannah’s immediate supervisor. Mostly he recognized him because he was standing in the doorway to his office that had his name on it.
“I’m sorry. Can I help you?” It was one of the interchangeable guys.
“Yes. I’m looking for my sister, Hannah Pearce.” Henry didn’t miss the guarded look that flickered across the young man’s face. Had she been dismissed all ready or was that just the normal expression of someone who has to deal with her on a regular basis?
“Hannah called in sick. I’m Alan Calder, by the way.” He walked over to Henry and shook hands. “Care for a cup of coffee? I have a fresh pot in my office.”
“Sure.” Henry wondered what was on the other man’s mind. It was obvious he wanted to talk. Probably the same thing that Henry had come up for - to talk about keeping Hannah busy when she no longer worked on the project.
Alan shut the door to his office and went to the coffee pot. “Take anything with your coffee?”
“Just sugar. I’m not much of a coffee drinker.”
“Neither is Hannah. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her drink a cup of coffee the entire time I’ve known her.”
“She likes it well enough, but you know her fondness for being contrary.”
“Yes, I do.” Alan chuckled. “So, what brings you all the way up here on a weekday? Not a family emergency, I hope.”
“No, nothing like that.” Henry decided to lay his cards on the table. Maybe Alan would have some ideas for keeping Hannah busy. “Our father called the other night after speaking with Doctor Hale. We thought it would be a good idea if I came up and talked to her about some alternative activities once the project ends.”
“I see. She will still have her position here at the university.”
“I know that, but Hannah doesn’t respond well to down time. She needs to work, to keep busy. I think she’s really enjoyed working on this project. She hasn’t complained so much about something since she was working on her masters.”
“The more she complains, the more she likes it? I have to admit, that’s a new one on me. So, do you have any ideas?”
“One, but I doubt it’s a good one. I have a friend who’s writing a book, but the research is eating his lunch. Hannah loves to research and I think she’s one of the original grammar Nazis.”
“We’ve noticed that here as well. Words, numbers, punctuation, it doesn’t matter. They all have to be in their proper order. If there is a rule for it, you must follow it.”
“That’s my girl. The big problem wiht that is that Will is home bound and well, you know Hannah’s feelings about technology. I’m not sure it would be fair to subject him to my sister on a daily basis.”
“She does really well with the students she tutors. Far better than I would have imagined.”
“But that’s only for an hour or so at a time. Several hours a day, several days a week, I don’t know.”
“Have you spoken to your friend? Found out what he thinks about this?”
“Not yet. I’ve been so focused on Hannah and trying to figure out a way to help her through this. Besides, I know he’ll give it a shot if I ask him.”
“Good friend,” said Alan.
“The best. I’m planning on stopping by and seeing him on my way back. So, do you have any ideas, thoughts, suggestions?”
“No. I really wish we could keep her on, but it just doesn’t seem likely.”
“Have you talked to the other members of the team?”
“No, we haven’t. I’m not really sure what that would accomplish.”
“Maybe they aren’t as anti-Hannah as they seem. I can’t believe they have a problem with the quality of her work. How are things actually going in the lab?”
“Fine at the moment. But we have had complaints in the past.”
“How long has it been since you’ve had a complaint?”
“A while now that I think about it. Three or four months at least. What are you getting at?”
“Maybe they’ll surprise you if you talk to them. If it’s been working, who’s to say that it won’t continue to work. Hannah couldn’t care less about credit. She just wants to work.”
“I have to disagree with you there. Credit is just as important to Hannah as it is to anyone else here. That’s what caused most of the problems.”
“But you said yourself that there haven’t been any problems for months now.”
“Fine, Doctor Pearce. I’ll talk to eah of the team members individually and see how they feel about keeping Hannah on the team. I make no promises about what they’ll say.”
“Just as long as you listen to them. If their feelings are the reason for letting Hannah go, doesn’t it make sense to talk to them and see if that’s what they want.”
Alan didn’t respond, but the look in his eyes said volumes about family traits. Henry understood the look all too well. It was possible he had been a little out of line, but Henry wasn’t entirely convinced there was a line where Hannah was concerned.
“I guess I’d better be on my way then. Thanks for the coffee. Look, I know it’s not a possibility, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say anything to Hannah before it’s absolutely necessary. She deosn’t react to uncertainly well.”
“None of us do. You have my word. Thanks for stopping by.”
Alan made nice and polite by walking Henry to the door of the lab. Henry wondered if there might be some objective observations in all of Hannah’s rants about the man. Henry could not completely shake the feeling that he would not talk to the others on the team. That he was taking advantage of Hannah’s personality problems in order to remove the competition. Which given Hannah’s personality didn’t make any sense at all. As much as Henry hated to admit it, he and Hannah weren’t as completely opposite as he would like to pretend.
He pulled up in front of Hannah’s apartment building. The street was nice enough, if a little run down. It was mostly older homes that lined the street with the occassional double lot for gardens. The slides and swing sets were mostly unplayed with except for the joyous visits from grandchildren and possibly great grandchildren in some cases.
Hannah’s building looked like it had most likely been built in the 1940’s, probably after World War II. Henry knew it was that sense of history that attracted Hannah to this place, at least in part. Truth be told, it was something he himself really liked about it as well. If he had had his way, he and Molly would have found an old house and renovated it instead of building a new one. Not that he didn’t love his home, but he couldn’t help wondering if it would still be there sixty years from now. He would like to think that it would, but who knows.
Hannah had insisted on an apartment on the third floor. Henry supposed it was one way of making sure she got her exercise. There was an elevator, but it was out of order as often as not.
He found himself wishing for a flashlight as he made it to the third floor. The sparse light bulbs, few and far between, really did nothing in the way of lighting the hallway. It was only by looking directly at the bare bulbs themselves that he knew for certain they were on.
Finally assured that he had found Hannah’s apartment, he knocked loudly on the door. He waited a minute and then knocked again, just as loudly. Hannah slept the sleep of the dead under the best of circumstances. Before completing the third series of knocking, the door was jerked open roughly.
“What the hell...? Henry?” Hannah threw herself into Henry’s arms. “It’s so good to see you. What are you doing here?” Hannah held on to him with all her might. She never wanted to let go, even though she knew she had to eventually. “Come in. Come in.” She finally broke the hug, but took him by the hand and drug him into the apartment.
“Love what you’ve done with the place.” Henry took off his over coat as Hannah cleared some space off her futon.
“Ha, ha, ha. You know me. As long as I have room to sleep and hot water for a shower, I’m set. Molly’s the decorator in the family. How’s she doing, by the way? And Emma? Looking forward to her new little brother or sister? Or is it twins? Do you know yet?”
Henry sat on the other end of the futon, turned to face Hannah. “Slow down. Slow down. Molly and Emma are fine. Yes, Emma is looking forward to her new little brother. No twins yet. How are you feeling? I stopped by the school and Alan Calder said you called in sick. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing really. Just some early cold symptoms. I’m pretty much caught up at work, so it seemed like a good idea to stay home and head it off at the pass. Seems to be doing the trick. You haven’t said what you’re doing here.”
“I was going to see Will and thought it would be a perfect chance to run up and see you as well. Your letters are nice and all, but it’s much nicer seeing you.”
“That’s what I keep saying. Why are you starting to listen to me now?”
“I always listen to you, baby sister. I just don’t always do what you say.”
“Poor you. When’s your meeting with Will?”
“This afternoon. Did I tell you he’s working on a book?”
“No, you didn’t. What’s it about?”
“Something to do with the overlapping of science and religion before the Renaissance, I think. Have to admit I didn’t really pay attention when he told me about it. It seemed to make him happy and that was enough for me.”
“Ever the inquisitive one. Want some tea? I’ve got the best white tea and tangerine blend you can imagine.”
“No. I’m fine. You might want to keep an eye out for Will’s brother, Doug. He started working on campus at the beginning of the fall semester.”
“Tall. Short, dark hair, hazel eyes, looks like a runner. Last name Gardiner as well.”
“I’m not sure about the description, but yeah, his last name is Gardiner. Why?”
“I ran into him on campus last night. Literally. I was leaving the library and he was coming in and slam. Didn’t knock him over though.” Hannah smiled in a way Henry couldn’t remember ever seeing before. “He even walked me to the lab after I told him not to.”
“Hannah, do you like him?” Henry’s voice slipped easily into a teasing, sing song tone that Hannah hadn’t heard in a very long time.
“I’ve only met him the once. How can I like him or not like him? Besides, I don’t like anybody, remember. What would make him different?”
“I don’t know. The fact that he didn’t let you get away with your usual nonsense?”
“How do you know he did that?”
“Because you said he walked you to the lab after you told him not to. He didn’t let you get away with your usual games. Good for him.”
“Good for him? What about me?”
“Good for you too in my opinion. Han, you know how I feel about your lifestyle. It isn’t healthy for anyone to put work before anything or anyone else. I just worry about you. Getting to know Doug might be a good thing.”
“Henry, you’re jumping the gun. It’s not like it was love at first sight or anything. Besides, once he gets to really know me, he’ll be gone. You know that. Either that or he’ll decide it’s really men he’s interested in.”
“Definitely not on that score. His step mother is trying to fix him up with every eligible gay man in the state from what Will says. If that hasn’t convinced him to play for the home team, I doubt very much that you could.”
“Oh, ye of little faith.” Hannah paused. “Why does his step mother think he’s gay?”
“Who knows? Will thinks she watched too much Seinfeld. He’s probably right.”
“Why would watching Seinfeld make her think her step son might be gay?”
“According to Will, Betty is famous for going off on tangents. Maybe she thinks it will make her look cool in front of all the other step moms. Maybe she needs to get a job or volunteer at a hospital or charity or something. The woman definitely has too much time on her hands.”
“Sounds like it. So, he’s definitely not gay?” Hannah walked over to her tiny kitchen and put the kettle on, having decided a cup of tea sounded like a very good thing indeed.
“Not according to Will. But since neither he nor I have first hand experience, maybe you’ll have to ask him the next time you see him.”
“Henry.”
Henry smiled at the tone in Hannah’s voice. Threatening and embarrassed all at the same time. Oh, yeah, she liked Doug. Hannah liked Doug. Hannah liked Doug. Doug liked Hannah. Maybe. His smile faded. It wasn’t a good idea for them to hook up now than it had been when Will mentioned it the other day on the phone. But the other day on the phone, Henry didn’t think there was a snowball’s chance in hell that Hannah would like Doug back. Would it really be enough to make a difference?
“What do you think of him?”
Hannah sat at the kitchen table. She didn’t look at her brother. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what she thought or how she felt about Doug Gardiner.
“I don’t know. But I think I might want to find out. And that scares the hell out of me. You’re the only one....”
“That’s not true. I’m the only one you let in. Lots of people would like you if you gave them a chance, but you run off anyone who could care about you because it fits in with your peculiar world view. You’re special, Han, but you won’t let anyone see it. But since that discussion has been beaten into the ground, I’m changing the subject. How’s the project going?”
“Oh, you know. Same old, same old. We’re up for review in a couple of weeks, so Alan’s being a right pain in the neck. I think we might be ahead of schedule though. Alan’s been having me go over test results for the last week or so to see where we can improve the testing.”
“Have you thought about what you want to do when this phase of the project is over?”
“What do you mean?” The kettle started whistling at the precise moment, so Hannah couldn’t watch him as closely as she wanted to. Did he know they were going to dismiss her? How could he have found out? Did that son of a bitch Hale call Father the way he talked about? Why won’t people just leave her alone? Was that really too much to ask?
“Well, your letters have been more complaints than anything else about the project. I was just wondering if maybe you felt it would be time to move on to something else. Maybe a completely different direction even.”
“Like what direction?”
“The research on his book is driving Will nuts. Maybe you could help him out when the project ends, just to keep yourself busy.”
“And out of trouble. Thanks for the concern, Henry, but I really don’t see myself as errand girl for some house bound literary geek.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it. Besides, it would give you a chance to find out more about Doug.” Henry knew he was tempting fate by harping on his sister’s interest in his friend’s brother. It was just that he hadn’t seen that smile on Hannah’s face ever. He knew she had had some crushes in high school, but he also knew they never got very far. If she was really interested this time, interested enough to take a chance, maybe invoking the wrath of Hannah Pearce would be worth it.
“What if I don’t want to find out more about Doug?”
“Interesting that you phrased that in the form of a question instead of a definitive statement. So I must reply, what if you do want to find out more about Doug?”
“Okay, what if I do. It won’t change anything. He’ll still leave.” Hannah was again sitting in her chair at the kitchen table. She had one foot tucked under her and her hand were wrapped around the cup of tea as though it were the only thing keeping her from freezing to death.
“You don’t know that. You might be the one to leave for all you know. Or neither one of you will leave. It could change everything, Han. And even if he does leave, what’s the worst that could happen? You’d go right back to being the same old Hannah.”
“But I wouldn’t be, would I?” Hannah stared at Henry, a question and a challenge in her eyes. “How did you know Molly was the one?”
“It took me a while. I knew from the first, well second, time I saw her that she was someone I could really care about, but that didn’t make it any less scary. I just knew that I had to find out. That I couldn’t not know what she could mean to me. It’s still scary, Han, but it’s right. I’m amazed everyday that I have what I have. Just for the record, I include you in that as well.”
“Thanks. Henry, do you really think people can change?”
“I think they can if they really want to. Do you?”
“I’m not sure it really matters what I want. Things happen whether I want them to or not. It’s not fair.”
“No, it’s not. How about we get some lunch? I’m starving and if I know you, you finished your last yogurt this morning and haven’t been shopping in a couple of weeks.”
“Maybe. So you’re buying, right.”
“Of course. Never let it be said I shirked my familial responsibilities.”
“Oh, no. Can never let anyone say that about you. Me, yes. You, no."
Roughly 20,000 words behind today's "where I should be" count. It's a good thing I excel at getting things done at the last minute.